10: Gentleman Callers

I like that men are now in tune with their feminine. Ya know, to a degree.

I've dated plenty who were not, who talked without interruption, evidently thinking this is what we long for: to hear a resume of accomplishments.

You can always test a date's listening skills by mentioning you're an alien visiting Earth on assignment, writing a story about human mating rituals for your home planet. If he nods and proceeds, you say, This has been absolutely fascinating, but I must go home and shampoo my merkin.

If he's reached 35 and never sustained a relationship longer than 90 days? Red Flag.

If he tells you he's a reconteur, proceed with caution.

If he tries to earn sympathy by telling you the story of how he agreed to go to Burning Man after the third date, and how she abandoned him once there, but he's already told you fourteen stories of bad dates, jettison the pod.